Grow Your Self-Esteem Back Without Therapy

4 min read
Evidence based
Dainius Jakucionis, MD
By Dainius Jakucionis, MD Updated on 2024 Jan 22

“Sometimes I feel so happy; sometimes I feel so sad” – ever had that feeling and couldn’t figure out why? 

Contentment and peace of mind are probably what we all aim to experience, but the feeling of being not good enough often stands in the way. Sadly, it’s low self-esteem that prevents us from feeling good about ourselves. 

Poor self-esteem is quite common, and it makes people question their value. It leads to seeking validation in work, personal life, or perfectionistic behavior. 

Self-esteem comes from your own perception of yourself, and being dependent on the validation of others is not only unfair to you but can also bring adverse results. 

Of course, the emotional rollercoaster of constantly feeling happy or sad about ourselves is really draining, but luckily, there are ways to fix it. 

Weight of the World

Self-esteem generally refers to how you view yourself and perceive your worth. While many people suffer from low self-esteem because of their individual experiences, the symptoms are usually very similar.

Having an unhealthy perception of self prevents you from seeing how great you are and, thus, often makes you feel like a burden to others. Do you often find yourself:

  • Feeling anxious or scared
  • Feeling unsafe in the world 
  • Thinking you’re worthless
  • Disliking your looks or the things you do
  • Wishing for perfection
  • Comparing yourself or your achievements to others

If so, your self-esteem has likely suffered a plunge. Surely, it’s exhausting to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and feel like it’s never good enough. 

However, you mustn’t forget that these thoughts are only your assumptions about yourself caused by previous negative experiences. Remember, these assumptions do not represent reality – you’re a great person with plenty of great qualities!

Luckily, self-improvement plans and tools, like Sensa, are designed to ease the struggle and bring an end to the negative perception of yourself.

An End Has a Start

While the reasons that caused your low self-esteem might seem like a mystery now, exploring them before you start is crucial. 

Through reflection on your past experiences or journaling, you can try to find the key points in your life that made you question your self-worth. Maybe you were bullied in school, your emotional needs were never met, or someone broke your trust.

Think of the things that significantly impacted you, and pinpoint them. Take a moment to understand what happened and how it affected you – this will help prepare for a change of mindset in the future.

What’s next?

After you figure out the reasons that diminish your self-esteem, you should develop a plan to rebuild it. 

In addition to learning about how self-esteem impacts your daily choices and emotions, it’s a great idea to include topics such as your core beliefs, inner critic study, and perfectionism. 

Since low self-esteem often affects how we think and behave, our emotional state is also highly influenced by how we view ourselves. In order to make yourself feel better and work on increasing your self-worth, it’s crucial to tackle the negative aspects of your thinking.

Ideally, you would have to take at least a month to understand the psychology behind low-self esteem and the variables that affect it. Following a coherent plan full of easily understandable reading material and some homework tasks that you do in your free time can make a tremendous difference in how you perceive yourself.

Remember, change won’t come overnight, and hard work is needed.

The Importance of Being Idle

While hard work is truly appreciated, don’t overwork yourself. It’s essential to take breaks and focus on what your body and mind need at the current moment. 

Engage in some light sports activities or relaxing meditation. Maybe try journaling to lay your thoughts on a piece of paper. 

You can find a list full of healthy, relaxing, mindful, or physical activities in the Sensa app to get you started. However, if you already have an activity you enjoy – take an occasional break and do it to calm your mind.

Participating in healthy activities can also help build solid daily routines that give you a sense of control in this chaotic world.

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out

No matter how difficult life seems or how worthless you feel at this moment, there’s always hope that things can improve. 

And the first step that you have to take is to let that hope show you the way toward self-improvement.

That little beacon can help you build your self-esteem again, despite how low it is currently. All you need is dedication, patience with yourself, and a systematic plan that allows you to work on your self-esteem.

Dainius Jakucionis, MD

Dainius is a renowned psychotherapist, holding a Master’s Degree in Medicine and additional training in Cognitive and Behavioural Therapy.